Post by Swith on Jan 19, 2016 16:20:57 GMT -4
NOMINATION 1: Alexxander borrowing Mjolnir from Valka
Nominated by: The Starlight
Notes by The Starlight: "I'm not that great at judging at comedy, but this I found funny. Alexander borrowing Mjolnir from Valka (who at the time was wielding it) for a nut shot on Hercules."
Ares being sent across Asgard got the attention of Hercules. "And what have we here? A traitor in out midst! I shall dispose of him quickly!" Hercules boasted ensure all of the fellow gods, both Olympian and Asgardian, heard him. "I've heard thing about you Goldilocks. You're supposed to be pretty tough. I mean, for a mortal I mean." He said and stood at least a foot taller than the beast of a man. "I can't believe my father wanted you to take on the All-Mother. Tell you what, I'll let you get the first hit in. Go ahead." Hercules said confident that Alex was no where strong enough to actually cause any real damage.
This however proved to be a painful mistake. Alex slammed his hands together, like a thunderclap, but instead of his hands hitting each other, they hit both sides of Hercules' head. The was blow powerful enough that to blew out both oh of the god's eardrums and gave him wicked shell-shock. "Gods and their ego. Their biggest weakness." Alex said before sending the god into the air and then back into the ground. Alex stopped as Hercules bled and crawled to his feet. "What did we learn?" Alex asked the god and kicked Hercules in the ribs, putting him on his back. "I'll accept something along the lines of, I'm sorry for underestimating you. Or a surrender. I'm okay with either,"
"Not... Bad. But." Just outside of Alex's field of vision, came a kick to end all kicks, right into the place where not only is it excruciatingly painful, but also highly frowned upon. Hercules just kicked Alex, full force, in the nuts. "Not as tough as you thought you were?" He asked Alex as the Golden Guardian writhed in pain on the ground. Being kicked in the no-no spot was one thing. Being kicked there by the Olympian God of strength was an entirely different matter. A painful one. Despite that, he managed to send a weak, but noticeable telepathic message to Valka:
Throw me Mjolnir for just a second... Hercules just kicked me square in the nuts and I'm pretty sure one of them popped...
Valka chuckled, sending back her own message. "You men. So weak." she said. Tossing Mjolnir in the air, she caught it and then hurled it at the speed of light. "On your left," she said, meaning that he should catch it with his left hand.
He broke the sacred rule of fighting. No low blows. You didn't see me kick you in the vagina did you? No, because that's not a fair fight. He asked, blasted Hercules into the air with his eye beams, caught Mjolnir with his left hand. "Never... Been so happy... To be ambidextrous." He said weakly, the pain was subsiding thanks to his healing factor. Hercules was in mid leap when he saw the cruel expression on Alex's face. Hercules couldn't read minds, but he didn't need to in order to know what Alex was going to do. It was too late to do anything to stop him. The Magic hammer was already in their air, soaring at half the speed of light into the groin of Hercules. Time seemed to slow when the hammer connected. Hercules' face was one of extreme agony and regret. The large god dropped to the ground and Alex had Mjolnir fly back to him. "All yours. You may want to clean it when you're done." He said tossing the hammer back to Valka.
He needed a moment to rest. Because his balls still hurt like hell.
Valka frowned, looking at the now-defiled hammer. Perhaps this had not been the best of ideas. Shrugging, she surrounded the hammer with her hottest fires, purifying it of Hercules. Inspecting she set it done, then spoke to the stricken Hercules, "Begone, Hercules. Go tell Zeus of how a mortal bested thee." Teleporting him back to Olympus, she turned, calling out to Alex, "Come, Alexander."
A few hours later, the Asgardians and their guest stood in the dining hall, sufficiently restored, alongside the kitchen, for this feast to happen. All of Asgard assembled, Valka stood upon the table, no longer in battle armor, but in a long, flowing blue dress. "Asgardians. I shall take a little of thy time to speak here. We are reunited. Asgard, and all its people have returned. Let us never forget our true mission, to keep the Nine Realms secure of those who would plunge it into darkness, to defend the weak, because we are strong. Let us never forget our All-Father, Odin Borson who has not returned with us. And now, to recent events. Let us rebuild this Asgard, our home, to greater glory than ever before. And then, Asgardians, to war! Olympus has returned, and seeks to cast its influence and dominion over Midgard. Let us not forget that we are not conquerors, nay, I tell you, but defenders. Guardians of Midgard, and though we receive little as result, there is strength, honor and glory. Strength within us. Honor in our hearts. And glory to be won!"
"So let us feast, in remembrance of this victory and the more to come! Also beside me, is one of Midgard. Though he could not best me," Valka said, looking down at Alex and chuckling, "He did far better than Zeus could have done, for all that old man's arrogance. He fought well, and realized the futility of standing by Olympus. He has agreed to stand by us, and has already defeated Hercules. Therefore, we shall stand with him, and his noble goals. Lastly, I shall propose a new saying, a new motto for Asgard. Life before Death. Strength before Weakness. Journey before Destination. But enough of my talking!" Valka cried aloud. "There is bread and grain, meat and mead, and elderberry wine. Let us feast Asgard!" she boomed out, twirling Gungnir and slamming it into the table.
Valka leaped down, and so, the feast began. There was indeed much bread and meat and mead, and much more. There were contests of strength of drinking and will. For tonight, Asgard had returned and it rejoiced.
Nominated by: The Starlight
Notes by The Starlight: "I'm not that great at judging at comedy, but this I found funny. Alexander borrowing Mjolnir from Valka (who at the time was wielding it) for a nut shot on Hercules."
ENTRY BEST COMEDY SCENE - PLEASE NOTE THAT EACH POST IN THE SCENE IS DIVIDED BY A LINE.
Ares being sent across Asgard got the attention of Hercules. "And what have we here? A traitor in out midst! I shall dispose of him quickly!" Hercules boasted ensure all of the fellow gods, both Olympian and Asgardian, heard him. "I've heard thing about you Goldilocks. You're supposed to be pretty tough. I mean, for a mortal I mean." He said and stood at least a foot taller than the beast of a man. "I can't believe my father wanted you to take on the All-Mother. Tell you what, I'll let you get the first hit in. Go ahead." Hercules said confident that Alex was no where strong enough to actually cause any real damage.
This however proved to be a painful mistake. Alex slammed his hands together, like a thunderclap, but instead of his hands hitting each other, they hit both sides of Hercules' head. The was blow powerful enough that to blew out both oh of the god's eardrums and gave him wicked shell-shock. "Gods and their ego. Their biggest weakness." Alex said before sending the god into the air and then back into the ground. Alex stopped as Hercules bled and crawled to his feet. "What did we learn?" Alex asked the god and kicked Hercules in the ribs, putting him on his back. "I'll accept something along the lines of, I'm sorry for underestimating you. Or a surrender. I'm okay with either,"
"Not... Bad. But." Just outside of Alex's field of vision, came a kick to end all kicks, right into the place where not only is it excruciatingly painful, but also highly frowned upon. Hercules just kicked Alex, full force, in the nuts. "Not as tough as you thought you were?" He asked Alex as the Golden Guardian writhed in pain on the ground. Being kicked in the no-no spot was one thing. Being kicked there by the Olympian God of strength was an entirely different matter. A painful one. Despite that, he managed to send a weak, but noticeable telepathic message to Valka:
Throw me Mjolnir for just a second... Hercules just kicked me square in the nuts and I'm pretty sure one of them popped...
Valka chuckled, sending back her own message. "You men. So weak." she said. Tossing Mjolnir in the air, she caught it and then hurled it at the speed of light. "On your left," she said, meaning that he should catch it with his left hand.
He broke the sacred rule of fighting. No low blows. You didn't see me kick you in the vagina did you? No, because that's not a fair fight. He asked, blasted Hercules into the air with his eye beams, caught Mjolnir with his left hand. "Never... Been so happy... To be ambidextrous." He said weakly, the pain was subsiding thanks to his healing factor. Hercules was in mid leap when he saw the cruel expression on Alex's face. Hercules couldn't read minds, but he didn't need to in order to know what Alex was going to do. It was too late to do anything to stop him. The Magic hammer was already in their air, soaring at half the speed of light into the groin of Hercules. Time seemed to slow when the hammer connected. Hercules' face was one of extreme agony and regret. The large god dropped to the ground and Alex had Mjolnir fly back to him. "All yours. You may want to clean it when you're done." He said tossing the hammer back to Valka.
He needed a moment to rest. Because his balls still hurt like hell.
Valka frowned, looking at the now-defiled hammer. Perhaps this had not been the best of ideas. Shrugging, she surrounded the hammer with her hottest fires, purifying it of Hercules. Inspecting she set it done, then spoke to the stricken Hercules, "Begone, Hercules. Go tell Zeus of how a mortal bested thee." Teleporting him back to Olympus, she turned, calling out to Alex, "Come, Alexander."
A few hours later, the Asgardians and their guest stood in the dining hall, sufficiently restored, alongside the kitchen, for this feast to happen. All of Asgard assembled, Valka stood upon the table, no longer in battle armor, but in a long, flowing blue dress. "Asgardians. I shall take a little of thy time to speak here. We are reunited. Asgard, and all its people have returned. Let us never forget our true mission, to keep the Nine Realms secure of those who would plunge it into darkness, to defend the weak, because we are strong. Let us never forget our All-Father, Odin Borson who has not returned with us. And now, to recent events. Let us rebuild this Asgard, our home, to greater glory than ever before. And then, Asgardians, to war! Olympus has returned, and seeks to cast its influence and dominion over Midgard. Let us not forget that we are not conquerors, nay, I tell you, but defenders. Guardians of Midgard, and though we receive little as result, there is strength, honor and glory. Strength within us. Honor in our hearts. And glory to be won!"
"So let us feast, in remembrance of this victory and the more to come! Also beside me, is one of Midgard. Though he could not best me," Valka said, looking down at Alex and chuckling, "He did far better than Zeus could have done, for all that old man's arrogance. He fought well, and realized the futility of standing by Olympus. He has agreed to stand by us, and has already defeated Hercules. Therefore, we shall stand with him, and his noble goals. Lastly, I shall propose a new saying, a new motto for Asgard. Life before Death. Strength before Weakness. Journey before Destination. But enough of my talking!" Valka cried aloud. "There is bread and grain, meat and mead, and elderberry wine. Let us feast Asgard!" she boomed out, twirling Gungnir and slamming it into the table.
Valka leaped down, and so, the feast began. There was indeed much bread and meat and mead, and much more. There were contests of strength of drinking and will. For tonight, Asgard had returned and it rejoiced.