COMING SOON!

International Arbitration and Peace Association

An intergovernmental organization established to promote international co-operation between all nations regardless of tech level, species, or ideals. Financed by assessed and voluntary contributions from its member states, its objectives include maintaining international peace and security, promoting speciotarian rights, fostering social development, protecting the environment, and providing speciotarian aid in cases of famine, natural disaster, and armed conflict. It achieves these aims through dialog and action.

Premieres: 2017

Info: IAPA website

NOMINATION 4: Regret

new

« Prev
1
Next »

Swith
Founder

Posts: 320
NS Nation: Swith Witherward
Officer: OSF/IRC Admin Officer
Echelon: Public Affairs

NOMINATION 4: Regret Jan 19, 2016 15:08:47 GMT -4

Post by Swith on Jan 19, 2016 15:08:47 GMT -4

NOMINATION 4: Regret
Nominated by: Cerillium
Notes by Cerillium: "Three years (IRL!) have passed as characters Septimus Itum (a cyborg diplomat and former-torturer of the Confederation) and Neste Trilb (a biomachine construct from the Nifidium) sort their species differences, feelings, and cultural attitudes. Finally together after so much inner and environmental turmoil, Itum must now cope with the fact that his beloved was felled in battle. As a political figure functioning during a time of absolute crisis, he put aside his personal needs in order to keep the entire cast from crumbling. Now, finally, he's able to take a moment to see his sweet Neste on what might very well be her deathbed. Regrets. (What a pity she later dies.)"

ENTRY BEST HEARTWARMING OR TEAR-JERKER SINGLE POST

The guards, sensing that they were not needed, began walking away, their steps emphasized so as to alert the Representative that they were departing. He didn't bother to acknowledge them; he knew the mayor and where to find them. They knew of his gratitude.

But did Neste?

Septimus sputtered.

Rodney in a green suit, calling Neste a ho, and then telling him he was responsible for the loss of the exo.

Wasn't he? He'd been one of the ones in charge. If he had just had his affairs more properly in order, had coordinated the defense better...

If only that goddamn grass hadn't grown out of nowhere...

"You refused to take possession. That's how you all are, all about fucking and sucking, saying how we're bad because we treat them like slaves, but in the end you won't step up and take any responsibility. Hell, we know they're tools, but you all make them into ho's."

Was that how things were, now? Was that how they always were?

He stepped through the door, not even sparing a glance at the daemonette. His eyes were trained forward, at the only occupied bed in the room.

There she was, gently held in the protective arms of her sister.

"Nila, what happened? Thaddeus called me over... how is sh-" he cut himself off, "How are you both doing?"

It was a stupid question. The clinic smelled of biomass, blood, and harsh cleaning fluids. Ugly injuries were highlighted in the bright, fluorescent lights made for surgery and examination. Anyone with a quarter of their brain would've been able to figure out neither of them were doing very well.

But it was a familiar question, the sort one asks when there's an elephant in the room to address and a desire to avoid said pachyderm. It should not have been familiar here. It was all wrong, didn't match what reality was supposed to be.

Constructs did not get hurt - not this hurt. They were more than human - more than superhuman. And of all of them, Neste certainly was not supposed to get hurt. Perhaps bruised or even scratched up a little, but never hurt. His limited knowledge of constructs told him they were infinitely more powerful than anything he'd yet seen. If they were able to get hurt, then what of the rest of them? What rock would he have if not for her? No, they weren't supposed to get hurt. They didn't get hurt.

Not like this.

Septimus closed the distance between him and the sisters. He sniffed; a slight ache throbbing in his head. His eyes reddened and he willed himself not to cry. It would be undignified to cry - and what good would it do anyways? His tears would not heal the woman in front of her. It would not bring back her magnificent exo.

What of Scel? The exo's body had been destroyed; what of her mind? Was she still there, somewhere, in Neste's head? Was she gone?

Why hadn't he been able to stop any of this?

"I'm sorry," he leaned forward against the bed and hesitated as Neste shifted and winced, allowing the pause to grow before eventually brushing his fingers against her cheek, "I couldn't make time, there was so much to do. I think... Well... I..."

Excuses were the friend of liars, manipulators, and bullies. And he was fine with being all three.

But not to her.

He fell silent.

His knees buckled; he lurched forward and supported himself on the bed. Turning to Nila with glassy eyes, he offered a grin that didn't reach past his lips.

"S-Say," he gulped, licking his lips even as he shook and his knees wobbled, "Would it b-be alright if I-I... I just..."

He stumbled over and gripped Neste and Nila in a hug, his head resting against the former's neck as he let out harsh sobs and pathetic cries and shook and groaned. His breath came in labored gasps. His throat grew dry, and then raw.

"I'm sorry," his voice was muffled as he shifted so he was whispering frantically in her ear - pausing for the hiccuping sob that occasionally came up - hoping that she was aware enough to hear the promises made and the threats set, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let them hurt you. I'm sorry I let them hurt Scel. I'm sorry... They won't hurt you anymore. They won't be allowed to hurt you anymore. I'm sorry... I promise. I'm sorry."

The plants, the fiends, the chaos in the lobby, the delayed healers, Rodney... All beyond his control.

He was pathetic.

Last Edit: Feb 6, 2016 15:49:06 GMT -4 by Swith

´*•.¸´*•.¸♥¸.•*´¸.•*´
P2TM Mentor ❧ Mother of Threads
Fractal Hacker, Vent Fennec and Raptor Queen.

Swith Founder Posts: 320 NS Nation: Swith Witherward Officer: OSF/IRC Admin Officer Echelon: Public Affairs	NOMINATION 4: Regret Jan 19, 2016 15:21:28 GMT -4 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Swith on Jan 19, 2016 15:21:28 GMT -4 Judges: Esty, Lavan, NatSpi, Swith, Tilt, Tri
	Last Edit: Jan 20, 2016 1:58:28 GMT -4 by Swith ´•.¸´•.¸♥¸.•´¸.•´ P2TM Mentor ❧ Mother of Threads Fractal Hacker, Vent Fennec and Raptor Queen.

TDirect
Founder

Posts: 151

NS Nation: Transgravitas Directorate
Officer: IT Officer
Echelon: n/a

NOMINATION 4: Regret Jan 20, 2016 15:30:18 GMT -4

Post by TDirect on Jan 20, 2016 15:30:18 GMT -4

SPOILER: Click to show

BOX 1

	0	1	2	3	4	5	SCORE GIVEN
Creativity	The post/scene demonstrated no originality. Ideas are clearly derived from external sources	The post/scene demonstrates some original thought. Ideas are not obviously derived from external sources.			The post/scene demonstrates exceptional original thought. Ideas are not drawn from tired tropes; or if they are, they are presented in a creative fashion.	Beyond Excellence	3
Descriptive Language	There is extremely limited use of descriptive language, and/or the writer resorts to embedded links to character pictures rather than describing character appearances during the course of the post.	The post/scene demonstrates some use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to visualize relevant aspects of the scene in their head.			The post/scene demonstrates exceptional use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to clearly visualise the scene in their head.	Beyond Excellence	5
Good Diction	The writer applies an extremely limited vocabulary and/or all attempts at applying advanced vocabulary results in incorrect use of diction and confusion.	The writer makes some attempt at applying a variety of correctly applied diction.			The writer correctly applies a wide variety of precise language to augment the post/scene.	Beyond Excellence	5
Clear Presentation	There are no breaks in the text and/or breaks in the text are complete inconsistent and confusing.	Breaks in the text are occasionally used to break up ideas. Breaks are usually used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.			Breaks in the text are used to effectively break up ideas. Breaks are used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.	Beyond Excellence	5
Impact	The reader feels no emotional response to the post/scene	The reader feels some emotional response to the post/scene.			The reader is emotionally affected by the post/scene to an exceptional degree.	Beyond Excellence	3
Interest (does the post hold the judge's interest or do their eyes glaze over half way through?)	The reader quickly grows bored and feels the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.	The reader rarely grows bored, and does not feel the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.			The post/scene is compelling, and the reader never grows tired of reading.	Beyond Excellence	4
Spelling/Grammar/Mechanics	The post/scene is rife with orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.	The post/scene has some orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.			The writer has an exceptional command of English writing to conventions, and makes no orthographic, grammatical, or mechanical errors.	Beyond Excellence	5
Characterization	The character/s involved in the post/scene are flat, 2-Dimentional beings - wooden and not grounded in the scene. (For scenes: The character fails to react to other characters in the post/scene.) The reader has no reason to emotionally invest in the character.	The characters are somewhat fleshed out and believable. The reader can see some thought process occurring inside the character's head/s. The writer often uses dialog as well as action to denote emotion.			Characters are fully fleshed out and the reader can empathize with them. Dialog and action flow seamlessly to create a rounded picture in the reader's mind. The character is portrayed exceptionally and stays in character throughout post/scene.	Beyond Excellence	5
TOTAL			---	---			35

BOX 2

	0	1	2	3	4	5	Total
Show, don't tell	Flawless	Post/Scene has excellent balance between exposition and narrative.				Scene/Post is primarily exposition. (Note: this does not count if a post is meant to be an exposition - meaning the post is crucial to set up the narrative arc.) Reader becomes annoyed and skims the post.	1
Verbosity	Flawless	Writing is nearly tight, superfluous details are not overly present.		Writing is loose and could have used an edit or three. Superfluous details are present and/or sometimes clutter the scene/post.		Post/s is too verbose (writer rambles, writing isn't tight, writing is overly complicated and cumbersome). Too much attention paid to unnecessary details. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	1
Dialog	Flawless	Dialog is tightly written, does not ramble, and the speaker is defined, but there are some formatting issues.		Dialog is somewhat defined by speaker but there is abundant use of "he said/she said".		Dialog is not defined by speaker or action/Dialog reads like a script. Reader must backtrack to recall who is speaking. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	1
Dialog formatting	Flawless	Speaker's dialog is properly defined but there are still some formatting errors.		Speaker's dialog is denoted by a simple "Sam said" throughout the post. General lack of creativity when formatting. Improper punctuation (example: "Yes." He said.)		Speaker's dialog is denoted by colored fonts or formatting. (Note: telepathic dialog is often italicized and thus poor marks will not be given.)	0
Action	Flawless	Action is present and contains few repetitive motions. Action flows, though not flawlessly.		Action is present but repetitive, or does not flow with the rest of the scene, or it feels tacked on for the sake of defining dialog.		Action is denoted by asterisks, or action is not present at all in the post.	0
For Collaborations	Flawless	It is nearly impossible to tell where one writer leaves off and another begins.		Writers' styles somewhat match, but the reader can still determine who is writing what.		Readers can clearly see where one writer leaves off and another begins. The different writing styles are obvious and cobbled together poorly. The contrast between the stronger and weaker writers is glaring.	N/A
TOTAL			---		---		3

SCORE
Scores are calculated by subtracting Box 2 from Box 1. Example:
Box 1: 18
Box 2: 8
Final Score: 10

TOTAL FROM BOX 1	35
TOTAL FROM BOX 2	3
FINAL SCORE	32

Swith
Founder

Posts: 320
NS Nation: Swith Witherward
Officer: OSF/IRC Admin Officer
Echelon: Public Affairs

NOMINATION 4: Regret Jan 20, 2016 19:01:19 GMT -4

Post by Swith on Jan 20, 2016 19:01:19 GMT -4

SPOILER: Click to show

BOX 1

	0	1	2	3	4	5	SCORE GIVEN
Creativity	0 The post/scene demonstrated no originality. Ideas are clearly derived from external sources	1 The post/scene demonstrates some original thought. Ideas are not obviously derived from external sources.	2	3	4 The post/scene demonstrates exceptional original thought. Ideas are not drawn from tired tropes; or if they are, they are presented in a creative fashion.	5 Beyond Excellence	3
Descriptive Language	0 There is extremely limited use of descriptive language, and/or the writer resorts to embedded links to character pictures rather than describing character appearances during the course of the post.	1 The post/scene demonstrates some use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to visualize relevant aspects of the scene in their head.	2	3	4 The post/scene demonstrates exceptional use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to clearly visualise the scene in their head.	5 Beyond Excellence	3
Good Diction	0 The writer applies an extremely limited vocabulary and/or all attempts at applying advanced vocabulary results in incorrect use of diction and confusion.	1 The writer makes some attempt at applying a variety of correctly applied diction.	2	3	4 The writer correctly applies a wide variety of precise language to augment the post/scene.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
Clear Presentment	0 There are no breaks in the text and/or breaks in the text are complete inconsistent and confusing.	1 Breaks in the text are occasionally used to break up ideas. Breaks are usually used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.	2	3	4 Breaks in the text are used to effectively break up ideas. Breaks are used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.	5 Beyond Excellence	5
Impact	0 The reader feels no emotional response to the post/scene	1 The reader feels some emotional response to the post/scene.	2	3	4 The reader is emotionally affected by the post/scene to an exceptional degree.	5 Beyond Excellence	3
Interest (does the post hold the judge's interest or do their eyes glaze over half way through?)	0 The reader quickly grows bored and feels the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.	1 The reader rarely grows bored, and does not feel the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.	2	3	4 The post/scene is compelling, and the reader never grows tired of reading.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
Spelling/Grammar/Mechanics	0 The post/scene is rife with orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.	1 The post/scene has some orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.	2	3	4 The writer has an exceptional command of English writing to conventions, and makes no orthographic, grammatical, or mechanical errors.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
Characterization	0 The character/s involved in the post/scene are flat, 2-Dimentional beings - wooden and not grounded in the scene. (For scenes: The character fails to react to other characters in the post/scene.) The reader has no reason to emotionally invest in the character.	1 The characters are somewhat fleshed out and believable. The reader can see some thought process occurring inside the character's head/s. The writer often uses dialog as well as action to denote emotion.	2	3	4 Characters are fully fleshed out and the reader can empathize with them. Dialog and action flow seamlessly to create a rounded picture in the reader's mind. The character is portrayed exceptionally and stays in character throughout post/scene.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
TOTAL			---	---			30

BOX 2

	0	1	2	3	4	5	Total
Show, don't tell	0 Flawless	1 Post/Scene has excellent balance between exposition and narrative.	2	3	4	5 Scene/Post is primarily exposition. (Note: this does not count if a post is meant to be an exposition - meaning the post is crucial to set up the narrative arc.) Reader becomes annoyed and skims the post.	1
Verbosity	0 Flawless	1 Writing is nearly tight, superfluous details are not overly present.	2	3 Writing is loose and could have used an edit or three. Superfluous details are present and/or sometimes clutter the scene/post.	4	5 Post/s is too verbose (writer rambles, writing isn't tight, writing is overly complicated and cumbersome). Too much attention paid to unnecessary details. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	1
Dialog	0 Flawless	1 Dialog is tightly written, does not ramble, and the speaker is defined, but there are some formatting issues.	2	3 Dialog is somewhat defined by speaker but there is abundant use of "he said/she said".	4	5 Dialog is not defined by speaker or action/Dialog reads like a script. Reader must backtrack to recall who is speaking. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	0
Dialog formatting	0 Flawless	1 Speaker's dialog is properly defined but there are still some formatting errors.	2	3 Speaker's dialog is denoted by a simple "Sam said" throughout the post. General lack of creativity when formatting. Improper punctuation (example: "Yes." He said.)	4	5 Speaker's dialog is denoted by colored fonts or formatting. (Note: telepathic dialog is often italicized and thus poor marks will not be given.)	0
Action	0 Flawless	1 Action is present and contains few repetitive motions. Action flows, though not flawlessly.	2	3 Action is present but repetitive, or does not flow with the rest of the scene, or it feels tacked on for the sake of defining dialog.	4	5 Action is denoted by asterisks, or action is not present at all in the post.	1
For Collaborations	0 Flawless	1 It is nearly impossible to tell where one writer leaves off and another begins.	2	3 Writers' styles somewhat match, but the reader can still determine who is writing what.	4	5 Readers can clearly see where one writer leaves off and another begins. The different writing styles are obvious and cobbled together poorly. The contrast between the stronger and weaker writers is glaring.	NA
TOTAL			---		---		3

SCORE
Scores are calculated by subtracting Box 2 from Box 1. Example:
Box 1: 18
Box 2: 8
Final Score: 10

TOTAL FROM BOX 1	30
TOTAL FROM BOX 2	3
FINAL SCORE	27

´*•.¸´*•.¸♥¸.•*´¸.•*´
P2TM Mentor ❧ Mother of Threads
Fractal Hacker, Vent Fennec and Raptor Queen.

Cer
Founder

"Cobra tacos!"

Posts: 173

NS Nation: Cerillium
Officer: Public Affairs Officer
Echelon: OSF Admin Assistant

NOMINATION 4: Regret Feb 5, 2016 15:31:23 GMT -4

Post by Cer on Feb 5, 2016 15:31:23 GMT -4

SPOILER: Click to show

JUDGE'S NOTE: I recognize the characters from this scene (and was the one who nominated it. We're short on judges, ergo I'm judging it. However, I notice that the other actively participating judges are all from the same RP. I earnestly recommend that we have a fourth judge not affiliated with the RP to offer their score. Thanks.

SCORE

SPOILER: Click to show

BOX 1

	0	1	2	3	4	5	SCORE GIVEN
Creativity	0 The post/scene demonstrated no originality. Ideas are clearly derived from external sources	1 The post/scene demonstrates some original thought. Ideas are not obviously derived from external sources.	2	3	4 The post/scene demonstrates exceptional original thought. Ideas are not drawn from tired tropes; or if they are, they are presented in a creative fashion.	5 Beyond Excellence	5
Descriptive Language	0 There is extremely limited use of descriptive language, and/or the writer resorts to embedded links to character pictures rather than describing character appearances during the course of the post.	1 The post/scene demonstrates some use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to visualize relevant aspects of the scene in their head.	2	3	4 The post/scene demonstrates exceptional use of prose to describe aspects of the post/scene. The writing allows the reader to clearly visualise the scene in their head.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
Good Diction	0 The writer applies an extremely limited vocabulary and/or all attempts at applying advanced vocabulary results in incorrect use of diction and confusion.	1 The writer makes some attempt at applying a variety of correctly applied diction.	2	3	4 The writer correctly applies a wide variety of precise language to augment the post/scene.	5 Beyond Excellence	5
Clear Presentment	0 There are no breaks in the text and/or breaks in the text are complete inconsistent and confusing.	1 Breaks in the text are occasionally used to break up ideas. Breaks are usually used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.	2	3	4 Breaks in the text are used to effectively break up ideas. Breaks are used in a way that correctly reflects writing convention.	5 Beyond Excellence	5
Impact	0 The reader feels no emotional response to the post/scene	1 The reader feels some emotional response to the post/scene.	2	3	4 The reader is emotionally affected by the post/scene to an exceptional degree.	5 Beyond Excellence	3
Interest (does the post hold the judge's interest or do their eyes glaze over half way through?)	0 The reader quickly grows bored and feels the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.	1 The reader rarely grows bored, and does not feel the need to take breaks from reading the post/scene.	2	3	4 The post/scene is compelling, and the reader never grows tired of reading.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
Spelling/Grammar/Mechanics	0 The post/scene is rife with orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.	1 The post/scene has some orthographic, grammatical, and/or mechanical errors.	2	3	4 The writer has an exceptional command of English writing to conventions, and makes no orthographic, grammatical, or mechanical errors.	5 Beyond Excellence	5
Characterization	0 The character/s involved in the post/scene are flat, 2-Dimentional beings - wooden and not grounded in the scene. (For scenes: The character fails to react to other characters in the post/scene.) The reader has no reason to emotionally invest in the character.	1 The characters are somewhat fleshed out and believable. The reader can see some thought process occurring inside the character's head/s. The writer often uses dialog as well as action to denote emotion.	2	3	4 Characters are fully fleshed out and the reader can empathize with them. Dialog and action flow seamlessly to create a rounded picture in the reader's mind. The character is portrayed exceptionally and stays in character throughout post/scene.	5 Beyond Excellence	4
TOTAL			---	---			35

BOX 2

	0	1	2	3	4	5	Total
Show, don't tell	0 Flawless	1 Post/Scene has excellent balance between exposition and narrative.	2	3	4	5 Scene/Post is primarily exposition. (Note: this does not count if a post is meant to be an exposition - meaning the post is crucial to set up the narrative arc.) Reader becomes annoyed and skims the post.	1
Verbosity	0 Flawless	1 Writing is nearly tight, superfluous details are not overly present.	2	3 Writing is loose and could have used an edit or three. Superfluous details are present and/or sometimes clutter the scene/post.	4	5 Post/s is too verbose (writer rambles, writing isn't tight, writing is overly complicated and cumbersome). Too much attention paid to unnecessary details. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	1
Dialog	0 Flawless	1 Dialog is tightly written, does not ramble, and the speaker is defined, but there are some formatting issues.	2	3 Dialog is somewhat defined by speaker but there is abundant use of "he said/she said".	4	5 Dialog is not defined by speaker or action/Dialog reads like a script. Reader must backtrack to recall who is speaking. Reader becomes annoyed and skims the scene/post.	1
Dialog formatting	0 Flawless	1 Speaker's dialog is properly defined but there are still some formatting errors.	2	3 Speaker's dialog is denoted by a simple "Sam said" throughout the post. General lack of creativity when formatting. Improper punctuation (example: "Yes." He said.)	4	5 Speaker's dialog is denoted by colored fonts or formatting. (Note: telepathic dialog is often italicized and thus poor marks will not be given.)	0
Action	0 Flawless	1 Action is present and contains few repetitive motions. Action flows, though not flawlessly.	2	3 Action is present but repetitive, or does not flow with the rest of the scene, or it feels tacked on for the sake of defining dialog.	4	5 Action is denoted by asterisks, or action is not present at all in the post.	1
For Collaborations	0 Flawless	1 It is nearly impossible to tell where one writer leaves off and another begins.	2	3 Writers' styles somewhat match, but the reader can still determine who is writing what.	4	5 Readers can clearly see where one writer leaves off and another begins. The different writing styles are obvious and cobbled together poorly. The contrast between the stronger and weaker writers is glaring.	NA
TOTAL			---		---		4

SCORE
Scores are calculated by subtracting Box 2 from Box 1. Example:
Box 1: 18
Box 2: 8
Final Score: 10

TOTAL FROM BOX 1	35
TOTAL FROM BOX 2	4
FINAL SCORE	31

How Not To Give A Shit: Fearless Lessons From... The Honey Badger

Swith Founder Posts: 320 NS Nation: Swith Witherward Officer: OSF/IRC Admin Officer Echelon: Public Affairs	NOMINATION 4: Regret Feb 6, 2016 15:49:17 GMT -4 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Swith on Feb 6, 2016 15:49:17 GMT -4 SCORING COMPLETED
	´•.¸´•.¸♥¸.•´¸.•´ P2TM Mentor ❧ Mother of Threads Fractal Hacker, Vent Fennec and Raptor Queen.

title

NOMINATION 4: Regret

Post by Swith on Jan 19, 2016 15:08:47 GMT -4

Post by Swith on Jan 19, 2016 15:21:28 GMT -4

Post by TDirect on Jan 20, 2016 15:30:18 GMT -4

Post by Swith on Jan 20, 2016 19:01:19 GMT -4

Post by Cer on Feb 5, 2016 15:31:23 GMT -4

Post by Swith on Feb 6, 2016 15:49:17 GMT -4